Sweeney Todd Visits The Dentist
by Amaryllis3121
Summary: What would happen if Sweeney found himself in present-day London and missing a tooth? A quick little story I wrote for fun.


_Just something I wrote for fun- it wasn't serious enough to go as a new chapter on my oneshots fic._

_Hope you have as much fun reading it as I did writing it._

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Sweeney examined the strange box Mrs. Lovett had handed him.

"Do you know what it is, Mr. T?" she asked. "I found it in the corner of the bake-house."

"No idea." Sweeney said after a long pause. It was a lie. There was a latch in the corner and he had every intention of opening the box. Just as soon as Mrs. Lovett was gone. He also knew exactly what lay inside. "Leave it with me though. I'll work out what it does." he said quietly. He set the box on the table behind his barber chair and drifted to the window. He watched a couple enter the shop below. "Mrs. Lovett, you have customers- you'd better go and help the boy."

Wordlessly, Mrs. Lovett left. After a moment, Sweeney drifted back to the table and opened the box to reveal a necklace. The strangest thing about it was the design on the lid. Other than that, it was a regular box for jewellery, but Mrs. Lovett was too foolish to realise that.

He gazed at the necklace. It was a simple gold chain, but on the chain hung a beautiful stone. The stone was pale pink, and its depth seemed to swirl with pink and white mist. Benjamin had bought it for Lucy to brighten her mood on the last days of pregnancy.

Slowly, Sweeney sank into his chair. He clutched the stone and closed his eyes, allowing the bitter sting of memories to wash over him. Lucy had been in a lot of pain- aches and such. She was tired and frail-looking at the time. Benjamin had wished he could help her. Ease her suffering.

It had almost broken his heart to leave her in the condition she was in, but he had to go out to get food, otherwise they would have starved. While he was at the market, this necklace had caught his eye, and he had bought it to give to Lucy when he returned home.

Sweeney looked down at the necklace and remembered the moment of madness he had experienced when he returned home to find Lucy looking even more fragile than when she had left him. He had often felt, during the pregnancy, that if there was some kind of treatment or even machinery to relieve her of her suffering, he would have paid any price for her to have it.

The part of Sweeney that was still Benjamin wished with everything he had that he could live in a world where such machinery existed, if only so that other families didn't go through what he did. Sweeney scorned this desire, even if it was, in some twisted way, his own.

Suddenly, Sweeney was falling. He landed heavily on the floor and immediately tasted blood. Then he felt pain in his mouth. A lot of pain.

"What-" he began to ask himself, but the pain worsened as he tried to talk. Slowly, he sat up to find he was on a cobbled pathway. He recognised it to be the square where the market was held.

Sweeney could deal with pain. He had endured enough of it when he was sent away- mentally, emotionally and physically. This didn't stop his slight panic when he spat out the blood and a tooth flew from his mouth. He ran his tongue around the inside of his mouth. It was one of his front teeth.

Slowly, Sweeney climbed to his feet. He slipped the necklace in his pocket and looked around to see an elderly woman hurrying towards him. She was dressed very oddly. And where was the market and the people that normally crowded the place?

"Are you alright love?"

Sweeney nodded, unable to answer because his mouth hurt too much. He decided to ask a question anyway- the pain was worth easing his mind.

"'Ot jus' ha'ened?" he asked thickly trying to move his mouth as little as possible.

"Oh you poor dear." the woman said, looking from his face to the tooth on the ground and back again. "You need the dentist. Come with me. My son's a dentist- he'll see you right now."

Sweeney followed the woman out of curiosity. "'Ot's a dentist?" he managed to say. The woman didn't seem to hear him- she was hurrying ahead. Sweeney didn't ask again, deciding not to cause himself any more pain than necessary.

"Here we are love." she said cheerfully, leading him into a strange building. It was very warm and bright. There were square panels in the ceiling, giving off light. Sweeney supposed there were a lot of candles hidden up there.

He didn't really pay much attention to the bizarre surroundings after that, because after poking about in his mouth some more, he discovered that his other front tooth was loose. He remembered enough of his childhood to know that all the loose teeth he had ever had fell out, no exceptions. That was how it worked wasn't it? Loose teeth didn't just suddenly become sturdy again, did they?

Sweeney was numb with shock as the woman led him down a hallway. He would have no front teeth. Just a large, unsightly gap. He wouldn't be able to talk properly ever again. He would most likely make a whistling sound whenever he attempted too- not to mention the awful lisp it would give him. He wouldn't ever talk again. He would irritate himself far too much.

Sweeney would never have said he was particularly vain in any way, but he did like to look smart. Who would trust a barber with no front teeth?

Horrified, he stepped through a door to anther extremely bizarre room, but he didn't take notice of this room either. He didn't even notice the woman leaving or the funny clothes the man she had introduced him to was wearing. It was only when the chair he had been invited to sit on began to flatten, that he leapt to his feet, reminded of his barber chair.

"Sir, please sit down."

Sweeney stared at the man. Did he know nothing? How would he get the satisfaction of killing men if he didn't slit their throats and shed their blood first? Yes the fall may well kill him anyway, but where was the pleasure in that?

"Sir, I 'ay be in an unusual situation at this 'resent 'o'ent, 'ut I am no fool." Sweeney said, trying (and failing) not to sound like a complete idiot.

"I don't understand." the man said, although Sweeney didn't know if he meant his words or his meaning.

"I will not sit in that chair." he said, carefully picking out words that would come out least distorted.

"How do you suppose I fix your mouth then?" the man asked impatiently. Sweeney considered.

"I will consent to lie on the floor." he said deliberately, still choosing his words with care.

The man looked like he was going to protest, but meeting Sweeney's steely gaze, he nodded weakly. Even with blood dribbling down his chin, it seemed Sweeney still commanded some respect.

Feeling every inch the fool he claimed he was not, Sweeney settled himself on the floor, thinking that if this man could somehow fix his teeth, it would be worth it.

"Open your mouth." the man instructed, crouching next to him. Suspiciously, Sweeney did so, eyes watering as cold air hit the gap where his tooth once was. He didn't wince, however. He kept his face straight, retaining whatever dignity he could, lay on the floor with a stranger poking around in his wide-open mouth.

The man poked all of his teeth in turn. When he prodded his remaining front tooth, Sweeney felt yet another shot of pain. Instinctively, his hand closed around the man's neck and he sat bolt upright, his other hand on the razor at his belt.

"'Ot are you doing?" he asked, still picking his words with careful consideration.

"I'm checking the damage." the man squeaked. Sweeney relaxed his grip and lay back, but kept his hand on his razor. The man resumed poking around, although this time his movements were gentler and he was leaning away from Sweeney slightly. "Well sir, I must say- I don't think I've seen worse teeth than yours in a long time. I'm going to have to do a lot of work on you."

"No you wont." Sweeney growled, his razor already at the man's neck.

"I'll reduce the price of course." he said hastily. When Sweeney didn't budge, he swallowed. "It'll be free of charge."

Sweeney nodded and lay flat again, satisfied. That was, until the man bought a giant syringe towards him.

"'Ot is _that_?" he asked, accidentally spitting blood.

"It's just to numb the pain." the man reassured him. Sweeney allowed the needle to be injected into his mouth. At first it felt like it was about to go through his lip, but then it eased and he could feel no pain in his top teeth anymore.

He watched the rest of the process carefully, but, after a second needle numbed the bottom half of his mouth, he wasn't able to talk. That didn't stop him giving it a good try when they began to pull at his teeth. When they came out with his other front tooth, it was the final straw.

"S'getsh _uff_ 'ee." he insisted, shaking off the two women who were holding his arms down (given that every time the man went near him, he threatened him with whatever was in reach- mostly his razor) and standing up. Sweeney was a smart man and if there was one thing that was certain of, it was that he was longer in his time, nor near his home. "I jus' 'anns 'oo 'o 'omsh. 'Ehs f'eesh shreesh?"

After receiving three blank looks, Sweeney stormed out. He attempted to keep him mouth clamped shut, but he was unable to so it hung partially open, revealing his lack of front teeth.

Angrily, Sweeney walked down the street, unsure of where to go. He tried to think of what had gotten him into the situation. As he thought, he stepped off the path and was shocked by a loud horn sounding. He looked around, to find that a giant red… _thing_ had stopped just before running into him.

Alarmed, he swiftly moved away, heading towards a seat outside a small shop. He sat down and thought hard. What was different about today?

Then it hit him. How had he got there? He wished! He wished to live in a world with technology to help ease suffering. The needle had been an example of such pain relief. Quickly, he dipped into his poket.

Sweeney pulled out the necklace and held it tightly, closing his eyes as he had the last time.

"I 'ish I 'a'n't 'ishe' in'na firshh 'acsh." he said. Nothing happened. Sweeney sighed.

And then he heard an all-too familiar voice.

"Are you alright dearie?"

Sweeney's eyes flew open. He was back in his barber chair and Mrs. Lovett was peering at him, looking mildly worried. Sweeney dropped the necklace as he stood, then brushed it under the chair without Mrs. Lovett noticing.

"Spectacular." Sweeney muttered, noticing with satisfaction that his mouth was no longer numb and he had both front teeth firmly in his mouth.

"It's just that you were asleep for an awful long time, love. And you kept on… flailing." she whispered the last word as if it were shameful. "Did you have a bad dream?"

"Mrs. Lovett, you have no idea." Sweeney said, turning his back on her and taking up his regular spot at the window, pleased to see everyone looking normal and happily noting there were no strange red contraptions anywhere in sight.

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_There we have it- please tell me what you think xD._

_PS- bonus points if you can tell me what Sweeney's saying ;)._


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